Do I Sabotaging My Own Growth? And what to do about it...May 15, 2021
What will you learn in this article?
Why is it that sometimes when we want to achieve something, when we are truly intentionally about it and move forward to our goal - it just falls flat after a while?
How is it possible that some things we really want are so difficult to achieve?
It doesn't make sense! You should say that whenever something is deeply important to you, it would be easy to commit to it and therefore achieve it.
Let me explain it here in this article. Once you see how this works, it becomes easier to track these unconscious patterns and actually reach your next level. It has to do with the 'dance between commitment & inner saboteurs' - and you will see that it actually does make sense.
How bad do you want to grow?
Sometimes we want something deeply.
Not always though, we want all that comes with the process of getting there.
If you want to lose weight, do you want to do everything that is needed to get there on a daily basis year round?
Well, in the field of inner growth and development, it's the same.
We want to live a 100% fulfilling life, we want to experience joy and happiness, we want to write that book, we want to have incredible and authentic impact with the work we do. We want to have the most amazing relationships.
But... Do we, including our inner saboteurs, actually REALLY want all that comes to the process that will get us there?
To me it's no question IF it's available to you, I know it is. The question is this: is ALL of you ready when you say 'yes' - so you will not sabotage yourself along the way?
It's hard to see your own saboteurs
In a way it's sometimes hard to see for yourself, because it's mostly the unconscious patterns and reasons that will hold you back. This is why we need other people to mirror us.
We need coaches and guides to help us see and break these unhelpful blocks, so we finally can enter the field of freedom within - where we can intentionally navigate towards what we desire or feel called to do. And although I am a master coach myself (and could 100% help you with this), I can be honest about it. I need it too. Even while I am a highly committed person in nature (when I say yes, I mean it), I too hold back in deep layers of the unseen undercurrent. Which I cannot alway address or spot myself.
This is just how it works. No shame in that.
I see it almost always with my clients. In some kind of form.
Some are already sabotaging the process where they might come to work with me step into their power, speak their truth, reach their next level).
Some are all in, and then during our months together some little inner saboteur kicks in - in an almost invisible undercurrent
Why does it happen like that?
Because we have a part in us that just doesn't want us to move forward. It's relying on the known, the safeness, the comfort-zone. Not knowing that the comfort-zone actually isn't a safe space. It's just what we know, therefore it feels 'safe'. However dysfunctional things are, it is predictable. And that is what this part wants to hold on to.
Because the fact is, once you move from this place so you can grow and transform, you don't know what will come in place for it.
You don't know the new.
You have to trust the process blindly.
And that is scary like hell.
You are not your (unconscious) fear
It's important to know that YOU ARE NOT this part that wants to stick with predictability. Yes, it's part of you and yes, it's real. The fear for change is real. But it doesn't have to run the show.
It's a part of you that needs to be seen. Because there's a reason for that fear. Up until now there was a good reason for that fear (that reason depends per person because we all have our individual stories). So you have to look into that, see it, feel it, to heal it.
And then you give it the place in the bigger picture, where it belongs. You can place this fearful part of you in the back seat of the car, while placing yourself in the driver's seat. This is how you take responsibility over your own life.
This is also how you replace the comfort-zone 'safety' with true safety. This is safety that lies WITHIN you, that is rocksolid and strong. That is authentic and true. Again, sometimes hard to spot yourself, and to interfere yourself.
If I’m not my fear, who am I?
YOU are your essence.
YOU are your core, connected to your Soul's path.
You are on a journey through this life, living and unpacking all the signs you get to move towards your purpose in life and work.
Your core knows the way.
It's naturally connected to growth.
It's leading you forward to becoming more and more of who you truly are. Because in the end that's all we need to gain: become more of who we are.
Growing in a way, is about letting go and unlearning. Letting go of who you thought you are, and unlearning all the replaced behavior we developed while adapting ourselves to fit in and be loved in times where we felt we weren’t.
Growing means start listening to the essence, your core. Listening to the inner whispers, your inner wisdom calling, and deciding that YOU are trustworthy of going on this journey, even if it will be terrifying and a lonely road, and there's no clarity whatsoever.
My questions for you..
- Do you trust yourself enough, to know this is available for you too + that you CAN handle your inner saboteurs?
- Are you ready to step into your full power and speak your truth? Are you ready to live 100%? Are you ready to live your full impact?
- And if so.... Do you only want good results, or are you actually ready to live through the discomfort of stepping into the process?
Why you need to dig deep
Go deep for the answers. If there's any kind of saboteur (99% chance) they will hide themselves very well. Not sure how to find your answers? Contact me so I can help you with this. It's super important for any form of growth you desire, both in life and business.
Leave me a comment below 👇because honestly! I just love to know where you are in this process of growing awareness....
P.S. Book Your Call Now, so we can speak and I'll show you how I could help you release your inner saboteurs so you are free to live your full impact in work and life (might be in an1-1 context (online or in the mountains of Ibiza) or during my upcoming group program or Retreat on Ibiza!
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